Americans are a broad minded people. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn't drive there's something wrong with him.

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.

I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.