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Funny Quotes
Showing: 1 - 10 Funny Quotes of 18
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Love Quote
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Life Quote
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.
Marriage Quote
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
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