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Funny Quotes
Showing: 1 - 10 Funny Quotes of 18
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Life Quote
Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.
Change Quote
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.
Life Quote
I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to.
Relationship Quote
A woman we love rarely satisfies all our needs, and we deceive her with a woman whom we do not love.
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