Funny Quotes

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Ralph Waldo Emerson

Famous American poet, essayist and philosopher.

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Marilyn Monroe

Famous American actress, model and singer.

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Albert Einstein

German-born mathematician and theoretical physicist.

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Funny Quotes

Showing: 1 - 10 Funny Quotes of 18

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Albert Einstein

139

Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

G. K. Chesterton

104

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

Winston Churchill

The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

George Carlin

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

Albert Einstein

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.

Charles M. Schulz

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Oscar Levant

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Phyllis Diller

My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.

Winston Churchill

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Mark Twain

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Life Quote

Count your age by friends, not years Count your life by smiles, not tears.

- John Lennon

Sad Quote

There are times when sorrow seems the only truth.

- Oscar Wilde

Humorous Quote

Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources

- Albert Einstein

Marriage Quote

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

- Marilyn Monroe

Life Quote

Every day should be passed as if it were to be our last.

- Publilius Syrus

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