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Funny Quotes
Showing: 1 - 10 Funny Quotes of 18
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
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Success Quote
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Trust Quote
You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself.
Motivational Quote
Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.
Friendship Quote
Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness.
Inspirational Quote
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
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