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Funny Quotes
Showing: 1 - 10 Funny Quotes of 18
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Friendship Quote
Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you're really strangers.
Motivational Quote
Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good.
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