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George Carlin Quotes
Showing: 1 - 10 George Carlin Quotes of 21
The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight is actually cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.
I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
Have you noticed when you wear a hat for a long time it feels like it's not there anymore? And then when you take it off it feels like it's still there?
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that shit.
I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
Regarding the Boy Scouts, Em very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook.
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Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right - instantly.
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Count your age by friends, not years Count your life by smiles, not tears.
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In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on.
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I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.
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Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.
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