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George Carlin Quotes
Showing: 11 - 20 George Carlin Quotes of 21
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
Geologists claim that although the world is running out of oil, there is still a 200-hundred-year supply of brake fluid.
Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
We are all pre-cancerous.
Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
We will never be an advanced civilization as long as rain showers can delay the launching of a space rocket.
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Peace Quote
Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.
Funny Quote
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Inspirational Quote
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
Funny Quote
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Life Quote
Every day should be passed as if it were to be our last.
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