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George Carlin Quotes
Showing: 11 - 20 George Carlin Quotes of 21
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
Geologists claim that although the world is running out of oil, there is still a 200-hundred-year supply of brake fluid.
Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
We are all pre-cancerous.
Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
We will never be an advanced civilization as long as rain showers can delay the launching of a space rocket.
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Relationship Quote
A woman we love rarely satisfies all our needs, and we deceive her with a woman whom we do not love.
Happiness Quote
Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is.
Family Quote
You have to live your life according to what comforts you, not what the rest of your family thinks you ought to be doing.
Funny Quote
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Life Quote
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.
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