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Funny Quotes
Showing: 11 - 18 Funny Quotes of 18
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Inspirational Quote
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
Family Quote
You have to live your life according to what comforts you, not what the rest of your family thinks you ought to be doing.
Wise Quote
A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.
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