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Funny Quotes
Showing: 11 - 18 Funny Quotes of 18
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Happiness Quote
Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is.
Success Quote
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Life Quote
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
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