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Showing: 11 - 18 Funny Quotes of 18
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
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Wisdom Quote
Before God we are all equally wise-equally foolish.
Funny Quote
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Life Quote
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
Friendship Quote
Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness.
Love Quote
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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