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Funny Quotes
Showing: 11 - 18 Funny Quotes of 18
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Life Quote
Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting my friends.
Inspirational Quote
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Wise Quote
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Funny Quote
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
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