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Showing: 11 - 18 Funny Quotes of 18
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
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People Quote
The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Unhappiness Quote
It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.
Love Quote
The strongest evidence of love is sacrifice.
Motivational Quote
Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good.
Wisdom Quote
Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold.
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