The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

A general and a bit of shooting makes you forget your troubles ... it takes your mind off the cost of living.

Always carry a corkscrew and the wine shall provide itself.

-I cannot imagine any crime worse than taking a life, can you? -It'd depend whose life.

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem. They're there every night, they see it done every night, they see how it should be done every night, but they can't do it themselves.

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink, and somebody to love you.