A pessimist is someone who has had to listen to too many optimists.

Middle age: the time when a man is always thinking that in a week of two he will feel just as good as ever.

Middle age is the time when you think that in a week or two you'll feel as good as ever.

I have often noticed that when chickens quit quarrelling over their food, they often find that there is enough for all of them. I wonder if it might not be the same with the human race.

Life's too damn funny for me to explain.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

It is better to be happy for a moment and be burned up with beauty than to live a long time and be bored all the while.

I suppose the human race is doing the best it can but hells bells thats only an explanation its not an excuse.

Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it.

It would be a colorless world if each individual did not secretly believe himself superior to almost everyone else.