The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

Violet will be a good color for hair at just about the same time that brunette becomes a good color for flowers.

It's not whether you win or lose - it's how you lay the blame.

No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

Spilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds.

While it is undeniably true that people love a surprise, it is equally true that they are seldom pleased to suddenly and without warning happen upon a series of prunes in what they took to be a normal loin of pork.

Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.

The only appropriate response to the question, 'Can I be frank?' is, 'Yes, if I can be Barbara.'

Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn't known you long enough.