Though not constitutionally averse to the crackle of greenbacks, I learned many years ago-twenty-eight, in fact-that of all the roads to insolvency open to my profession, entanglement in a revue is the shortest.

I would prefer even to fail with honor than win by cheating.

All men are mortal, and therefore all men are losers; our profoundest loyalty goes out to the failed.

What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?

I think the greatest taboos in America are faith and failure.

Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.

If at first you don't succeed, try to hide your astonishment.

If at first you don't succeed, you may be at your level of incompetence already.

If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.

When I was young I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures, so I did ten times more work.