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Robert Benchley Quotes
Brief author info: Robert Benchley (1889-1945) American humorist, writer, and drama critic.
Showing: 1 - 10 Robert Benchley Quotes of 15
Death ends a life, not a relationship.
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out.
Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.
There is probably no moment more appalling than that in which the tongue comes suddenly upon the ragged edge of a space from which the old familiar filling has disappeared.
There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.
The discovery of phobias by psychiatrists has done much to clear the atmosphere. Whereas in the old days a person would say: 'Let's get the heck out of here!' today she says: 'Let's get the heck out of here! I've got claustrophobia.'
There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.
But ice-crunching and loud gum-chewing, together with drumming on tables, and whistling the same tune 70 times in succession, because they indicate an indifference on the part of the perpetrator to the rest of the world in general, are not only registered on the delicate surfaces of the brain but eat little holes in it until it finally collapses or blows up.
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Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
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I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
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Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
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Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
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