Does giving birth make me a real woman? No, earning less than a man makes me a real woman.

I am interested to see how many young women share the illusion that a woman goes any faster when she runs than she does walking.

-The panel discussion is about The Ordeal of Modern Woman. -You mean those two cars, automatic dishwasher, beautiful house in the suburbs but Something's Missing? That Ordeal?

I've discovered what women want most in life, and it's fruit-scented, sparkly lotion.

What do women want? Shoes.

Women are repeatedly accused of taking things personally. I cannot see anyother honest way of taking them.

What I learned constructive about women is that no matter how old they get, always think of them the way they were on the best day they ever had.

We love women in proportion to their degree of strangeness to us.

If a woman hasn't got a tiny streak of the harlot in her, she's a dry stick as a rule.

The trouble with women? Elbows.