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David Letterman Quotes
Showing: 1 - 10 David Letterman Quotes of 12
I think I might have a bad psychic advisor. When I asked her to contact the dead, she gave me Keith Richards' phone number.
The Mars Polar Lander has been quieter than George W. Bush after a foreign policy question.
I was once involved in a same-sex marriage. There was the same sex over and over and over.
I pulled a hamstring during the Newr York City Marathon - an hour into the race I jumped up off the couch.
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change colors and fall from the trees.
Say what you will about Leona Helmsley, when it comes to standing trial, she's twice the man Jim Bakker is.
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
This warning from the New York City Department of Health Fraud: Be suspicious of any doctor who tries to take your temperature with his finger.
Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey taxi." Two is "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdales?" And three is "Don't worry, it's only a flesh wound."
Tip to out-of-town visitors. If you buy something here in New York and you want to have it shipped home, be suspicious if the clerk tells you they don't need your name and address.
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Love Quote
Its better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what your not.
Inspirational Quote
Everything you can imagine is real.
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The friendship that can come to an end, never really began.
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A relationship is what happens between two people who are waiting for something better to come along.
Life Quote
You never know what life is like, until you have lived it.
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