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David Letterman Quotes
Showing: 1 - 10 David Letterman Quotes of 12
I think I might have a bad psychic advisor. When I asked her to contact the dead, she gave me Keith Richards' phone number.
The Mars Polar Lander has been quieter than George W. Bush after a foreign policy question.
I was once involved in a same-sex marriage. There was the same sex over and over and over.
I pulled a hamstring during the Newr York City Marathon - an hour into the race I jumped up off the couch.
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change colors and fall from the trees.
Say what you will about Leona Helmsley, when it comes to standing trial, she's twice the man Jim Bakker is.
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
This warning from the New York City Department of Health Fraud: Be suspicious of any doctor who tries to take your temperature with his finger.
Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey taxi." Two is "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdales?" And three is "Don't worry, it's only a flesh wound."
Tip to out-of-town visitors. If you buy something here in New York and you want to have it shipped home, be suspicious if the clerk tells you they don't need your name and address.
Love Quote
Few people know what they mean when they say, "I love you." ... Well, what does the word love mean? It means total interest. I think the reason very few people really fall in love with anyone is they're not willing to pay the price. The price is you have to adjust yourself to them.
Marriage Quote
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
Age Quote
Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the Great Mystery into which we are born.
Life Quote
Life is pure adventure, and the sooner we realize that, the quicker we will be able to treat life as art.
Inspirational Quote
You cannot wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
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