If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.

Bride, n. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Girls usually have a papier mache face on their wedding day.

Weddings seem to be magnets for mishap and for whatever craziness lurks in family closets. In more ways than one, weddings bring out the ding-dong on everybody involved.

Let there be no more weddings. Get thee to a nunnery.

At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.