We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.

Lying is not only excusable; it is not only innocent; it is, above all, necessary and unavoidable. Without the ameliorations that it offers, life would become a mere syllogism and hence too metallic to be borne.

In the duel of sex, woman fights from a dreadnought and man from an open raft.

At the end of one millennium and nine centuries of Christianity, it remains an unshakable assumption of the law in all Christian countries and of the moral judgement of Christians everywhere that if a man and a woman, entering a room together, close the door behind them, the man will come out sadder and the woman wiser.

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.

Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99 per cent of them are wrong.

Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority. The more uncivilized the man, the surer he is that he knows precisely what is right and what is wrong.

There are some politicians who, if their constituents were cannibals, would promise them missionaries for dinner.

Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse.

One may no more live in the world without picking up the moral prejudices of the world than one will be able to go to hell without perspiring.