The most valuable of all human possessions, next to a superior and disdainful air, is the reputation of being well to do. Nothing else so neatly eases one's way through life, especially in democratic countries.

When women kiss it always reminds one of prizefighters shaking hands.

It is, indeed, one of the capital tragedies of youth-and youth is the time of real tragedy-that the young are thrown mainly with adults they do not quite respect.

The Americans are the illegitimate children of the English.

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

A large part of altruism, even when it is perfectly honest, is grounded upon the fact that it is uncomfortable to have unhappy people about one.

The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore.

Say what you like about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant truth that there are only ten of them.

Puccini - silver macaroni, exquisitely tangled.

A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.