Roses are red and ready for plucking, You're sixteen and ready for high school.

What men desire is a virgin who is a whore.

He moved his lips about her ears and neck as though in thirsting search of an erogenous zone. A waste of time, he knew from experience. Erogenous zones were either everywhere or nowhere.

Sleeping with the help are you? Well, as I say, 'What the hell, they're bending over anyway.'

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

Germaine Greer once gave a lecture at Oxford, arguing that the female orgasm was not only a facet of gender tyranny but was also vastly overrated. A male student raised his hand. 'About that overrated orgasm,' he drawled. 'Won't you give a Southern boy another chance?' The speaker was a young Rhodes scholar called Bill Clinton.

Why do girls fake orgasms? Because they think we care.

If the bedroom were a kitchen, women would be crockpots and men would be microwaves.

Men perform oral sex like they drive. When they get there they refuse to ask for directions.

Love does not make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman).